Voting for President – 8 Reasons Why Your Vote Doesn’t Matter

Soon the U.S. will elect a new president. November’s fast approaching and approximately everyone in the universe is encouraging you to register, let your voice be heard and rock the vote. Everyone except for me. No, I’m here to pour some much needed sanity water on this out of control pro-voting fire. Why? Because your vote doesn’t matter. I know they’re telling you that it’s your responsibility, that you have a civic duty to vote in national elections, but voting is a right. It’s, by definition, something you can do if you want, but you have just as much right not to. Now, some people will tell you that soldiers died in the forming of this country and many since protecting that right to vote, that is another story for another time, but if their sacrifice means that I have to do everything that I’m allowed to do by law, then I think I also have a civic duty to worship a deity and buy a gun and protest peacefully. Those rights were died for as well, correct?

Oh, and by the way, voting isn’t even a right in the Constitution. It doesn’t have its own amendment or anything like that, just FYI. It’s mentioned as something that can’t be restricted by race or gender in some of the post-Civil War amendments, but it’s not explicitly stated as its own right, no matter who died in the founding of this country.

Reason number one your vote doesn’t matter: electoral college. The electoral college is part of the U.S. government’s longstanding traditional of over complicating staggeringly simple processes. The electoral college is to voting as social security is to taking care of old people. The electoral college is to voting as the TSA is to a rapid and smooth air travel experience. The electoral college weighs each state’s importance in the elections based on population. The result is that California, Michigan, Ohio, and Florida get 90% of the candidates’ attention, while Nebraska and their five electoral votes get told to [censored] off.

Don’t worry. Nebraska’s used to it. When you vote for president, you’re actually voting to elect a delegate who then goes on your behalf to the electoral college, where he isn’t even required by law to cast his vote for the candidate he said he would. A popular vote would at least be more representative. Your one vote counts for one vote; the candidate with the most votes wins. Boom. Easy. Let’s definitely not do that.

Reason number two your vote doesn’t matter: two-party [censored]. The two-party system is the wool that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. You know how I know I don’t have a duty to vote? Because I only get two choices. And you call that my civic responsibility? A monkey can do that. Hell, a [censored] quarter can do that. Sure, there are other people running for president besides Clinton and Trump, but you don’t know who they are. The media doesn’t talk about them. The debates don’t let them in because of the two-party system.

Now, voting asks the question, who’s the very best person to run this country and make it prosper, and then it promptly takes away 350 million citizens as potential answers, any one of which might be fantastically qualified for the job and it gives you the choice between Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Quick; you could only eat one food for the next four years. What’s your favorite food? Got it? Good. Now, choose between a cheese sandwich and tuna salad. You might as well ask me, “Hey, which of these gang members do you want to prison shank you?” Or, “How would you prefer to catch AIDS?” The Democrats and Republicans are essentially a cartel, and when you think about it in those terms, it starts to make a lot more sense. Wikipedia defines a cartel as a formal agreement among competing firms. The aim of such collusion is to increase individual members’ profits by reducing competition. You think the Democrats and Republicans really hate each other? You think they’re not happy to trade the White House and Congress back and forth over and over again so long as they’re the only true power players?

Reason number three your vote doesn’t matter: who wants this job? This is the job that makes you the most likely to be assassinated man in the world. It ages you decades in four years. You don’t get much sleep. Everyone criticizes you all the time. A hell of a lot of personal [censored] about you, including stuff about your kids, becomes public knowledge. Your every move is documented, most of them are observed, and then you have bodyguards for the rest of your life. Honestly, who wants this [censored] job? I’ll tell you who. People who want power and egomaniacs, because you’re either hungry for the power and fame and celebrity of the presidency, or you truly believe that you are the only individual in the entire country who’s smart enough and good enough to fix America’s problems. Either way, you’re probably certifiable.

Reason number four: priorities. You want to know how you can tell your vote isn’t really all that important? Because with just a few months to go until election day, the most important issue in the 2016 presidential election is Hillary’s emails and Trump can’t keep his mouth shut. Not our fiat money ponzi scheme, not gas prices, not our debt, not war, not unemployment. They want you distracted from the real truths.

Reason number five your vote doesn’t matter: voter fraud. Listen, if they can’t earn your vote, rest assured both parties have operatives working around the clock to steal it through electronic means, fraudulent voter records, intimidation, misinformation, and more, and the fact that these stories have quietly become commonplace every election cycle is kind of frightening. Reason number six: reelection. The very second you elect a favorite political candidate, he starts campaigning for reelection. Career politicians are the root cancer in our nation’s political system.

Senators and representatives should be like the National Guard, like something we respect as a sacrifice, like something your real job let’s you take time off for because you’re providing a service to your country and then when your tour is up, you come back to your job and your life and it’s time for some other dude to go to Washington. Instead, we get guys that have been in the Senate for 50 years. We get presidents too afraid to piss off their political opponents to actually get something done. Everyone has an agenda, and it’s second to their first agenda, which is always be campaigning.

Reason number seven your vote doesn’t matter: extremes. The electoral system in America tries very hard to push voters to one of two extreme positions, conservatism or liberalism. Again, most Americans have at least a little bit of both, but in politics, there’s no middle ground. Where’s the moderate party? Where are the candidates who are a little bit of both? They simply don’t exist because the two-party system eviscerates them. I’m repeatedly asked to choose between two candidates who do not reflect my own views.

Reason number eight: same crap, different day. I realize this may come as a surprise to you, but there’s very little a president can do to drastically change the country without the help of Congress, and vice versa. Because of this, very little ever gets done. This is why social security is still scheduled to implode right around the time you and I are due to collect. Every national election, roughly half the country, sits it out entirely. Now, it may be easy for those of you who vote to chalk it up to simple laziness, but I don’t think the non-voters are lazy. I think they’re tired. I think they’re exhausted. Now, the pro-voters will tell you that voting is the only way to fix the problems with our government and that by not voting, you’re actually just giving up, and to those people, I say, you’re damn right. Look, even if MTV is ridiculously successful at rocking the vote and all 350 million Americans turn out and vote, I mean everybody; who’s going to win? One of these two puppets. Now, imagine the opposite scenario where no one turns out to vote except for the candidates themselves and maybe their employees. Who’s going to win? One of these two puppets.

Now tell me again how my vote matters.

Are you awake yet?